Revisions: Part II

Today’s not over, but there has been further progress here. One of the things Wes had pointed out was the layout of Alderlast, the capital of the Angladaics, is something that needs to be clarified for the reader. This is especially important because the actual design of the city is part of the plot of a few books, so it really needs to be clear how the layout looks!

I’m sketching a rough version of the city now:

It’s a little fuzzy, but the image does render more clarity about how Alderlast is designed. The eight “slices” of the pie are the Highlord districts, while the “spokes” of the wheel are raised roads that lead from main gates (the sections that splay out like spikes on the wheel) to the Angladaic Palace. Between each district there are two tunnels through the roads, gated with big doors, and smaller staircases allow foot traffic up from the district to the raised roads.

The idea is a city that is supremely difficult to take for an invading force. You could, in theory, push through and level or occupy the palace, but every surrounding district would be against you if you never came down from the elevated roads/walls. And, if you did do that, taking one district would only secure 1/8th of the city, meaning a long and hard fight for the other seven.

Hopefully, polishing this map up and including it in book three will help readers get a clearer idea of what the Angladaic capital looks like.

Additionally, I added about 2000 words to clarify some character motivations and personalities. The next steps are going through some smaller notes on later chapters and then starting from the beginning of the book and adding in reminders here and there of what characters look like, what happened to them in previous books, what certain places or things are and why they matter, and so on.

The goal is to help the reader say, “Oh right, that person/place! Now I remember” instead of “why am I getting reminded of this thing I already know about from before?” The balancing act continues.


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